Do I even have to say anything? Ladies and gentlemen, it is that time of the year: the time of the year when tragedy strikes. The time of year when lampposts become people’s worst enemy. The time of the year when clumps of backup dancers crumble to the ground. Boys and girls, it is Thanksgiving time. One thing about me is that I am a fiend for giving thanks which in turn makes Thanksgiving one of my favorite holidays. I enjoy everything about Thanksgiving like seeing my family in Florida, pulling pranks on my cousins, the pre-Christmas hype and much more. But if there’s one thing about Thanksgiving that I love the most, it is (slay the house down, Houston I’m deceased) undoubtedly the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. When trying to think of words to convey my level of appreciation for this parade, my mind goes blank. There isn’t a word in the Urban Dictionary that could amount to how this parade makes me feel. The thing I love the most about the parade is its annual fails. You can’t throw a parade as voluptuous as Macy’s and not expect things to go south. The anticipation of not knowing which balloon will pop next is why I watch every year. So, we are running it back for the third year in a row. Let’s get right into Macy’s Day parade fails part three!
The first fail we will be discussing involves a mouse named Mickey. It was a gorgeous day in 1956, the morning of the parade. Mickey Mouse was one of the larger balloons that year. As he was floating down the street, the people holding his strings started to notice a tear in Mickey directly above their heads. Unsurprisingly, this alarmed the tring holders so they notified nearby security about the rip. Since it was only a small rip, they were allowed to stay in the parade. They kept walking for another fifteen minutes until all the sudden the rip began to expand. Next thing you know, Mickey Mouse’s colossal rip began to create a wind vortex that started lifting people below it into the air. People were freaking out, rightfully so. Fortunately, there is a procedure that takes place when something like this happens at the parade. They have these little darts that, when injected, cause the balloon to soar to the ground. So, they shot darts at Mickey causing him to deflate on top of the string holders which created more issues. The whole thing was a mess. Thankfully, since this is a very professional parade, they were able to get everyone out from under Mickey. They later disposed of his carcass.
This next fail is very special because it involves somebody from my family, my mother. Yes, you heard me, my very own mother was a part of the 1999 Macy’s Day Parade. This fact is the defining factor of our family’s legacy. I still remember the day she told me this story like it was yesterday. Basically, she volunteered to be a string holder for the Nesquik Bunny balloon. The string holders are expected to get together and practice how to walk the balloon down the street together in order to prevent any mishap from occurring when the real parade starts. Everything went well during practice, and there wasn’t any wind so it was easy and simple to walk the balloon. Now here is where things get sad. The day of the parade arrived, and my mother was about to do what she was born to do. The parade began and the string holders began to walk the balloons down the street. “Things were going great for the initial thirty minutes of the Parade, but then, vicious winds began to pick up, ” explained my mom. If you have read my previous Macy’s Day Parade articles, then you’d know that harsh winds aren’t uncommon, but these winds were different. The bunny started moving very quickly, to a point where the string holders were forced to run in order to keep up with it. “I recall having to sprint in order to keep up with the balloon. I looked behind me and saw that some string holders were falling down because they couldn’t run,” she says. “After thirty seconds of intense running, my legs gave out and I went down.” That statement left me speechless. Imagine plummeting to the ground because you couldn’t keep up with a balloon during a parade that’s being nationally televised. “Thankfully, I was able to get back on my feet and catch back up to the Nesquik Bunny. By that time the wind had settled down and the parade went on,” concluded my mom. All I had left to ask her was did the fall hurt? To that, she said, “Yes it did.”
It is no surprise that awkward moments happen at the Macy’s Day Parade. The most common awkward moment is when a celebrity lip sync fails. You know what I’m talking about, every year they get some celebrity to sing on a float, and you know darn well that not one note is real. Macy’s has never outright said that they have people lip sync, because there is no need when there are countless videos of singers having lip sync fails. The amount of times I have heard music playing and shortly after seeing the singer realize he/she missed the queue to start lip-syncing is shocking. But I love it, and so does everyone else. Social media is not shy to call these people out for lip-syncing. Here is a short list of some of the artists who have messed up their lip-synced Macy’s day performances: Ariana Grande, John Legend, Mariah Carey, Cher, Jon Batiste and Justin Bieber to name a few. In fact, every artist in the history of the parade has lip-synced; they are forced to. Even, the fact that people still mess it up is very entertaining. One of the most recent lip sync fails was in last year’s parade involving Miss Christmas herself, Mariah Carey. While performing “All I Want For Christmas,” Mariah kept an rbf (resting brat face) the entire time. Fans accused her of being bleak and having low energy. Her performance was giving popped a Neiqul right before this. Not to mention how her lips never once lined up with the music. People were outraged by this performance. To give her credit, she probably didn’t have any enthusiasm because she’s been singing that song every Christmas since 1678. John Legend said in an interview that every song and performance is lip-synced because the floats can’t support the technology needed for a live performance. I find that hard to believe. Anyway, I’m excited to see more lip-sync fails this year!
And that is that Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade fails part three. I cannot stress enough how much I love seeing the balloons explode, dancers tumble, and everything in between. This entire parade is a mess, and I love it. Every year, my Christmas wish is that a balloon pops in the next year’s parade. I can only hope that my wish comes true in the next couple of weeks. I asked college sophomore and previous Crimsonian member Maisie Dugger what her favorite thing about the parade was. She said, “I love when the balloons experience turbulence.” Gorgeously said; anywho, I hope you learned something today. I hope you learned that just because something has a big budget, no amount of money can prevent mess-ups, mistakes, and failures.
