One day, you wake up and your athletic career has changed. Many athletes have experienced the change that no person expects. It’s an injury, but a life-changing one that will forever alter how a person moves and lives. An ACL tear is one of the hardest injuries to come back from.
I was and still am that unlucky percent of athletes to experience this. On April 21st of this year, I was at track practice. Now, most of the practice went well until I had to do box jumps. It was a series of different ones. On two of them, I had to jump up and down. The final and third one, I had to jump over. I hesitated because it was about a foot wide and a half a foot tall, and I knew I shouldn’t jump over it. I had a gut feeling that something was wrong with the idea of it. But I didn’t want to tell them that I wouldn’t do it.
Instead, I ignored my gut telling me not to do it because I thought it wouldn’t hurt to push past the fear and jump because I had to. I am a runner and an athlete, so you are expected to complete your workouts by the coaches and your teammates. Doing so destroyed the rest of my freshman track season. As soon as I started to jump over that box, I got a feeling of dread. And when I landed, my thigh went to the right and my calf went to the left. I heard a pop and felt something in my knee snap, then a rush of searing pain. I didn’t cry right away until it hurt so bad I screamed and cried. I don’t cry for anything, and this was the one exception. I couldn’t move my leg. I was lying there sobbing on the Dover football field, and I knew this wasn’t good.
After I was told the next day at my doctor’s appointment that I had either something torn or it was 100% my ACL. If it were the case, surgery would be necessary. Then the news came, I had no ACL left, I tore it completely on both sides. Not only that, I had bone contusions on my femur and tibia as well as sprains on other ligaments. This meant reconstructive surgery if I ever wanted to walk or run right again. I am still restricted from running or physical activity at all until a year has passed from the date of injury.
I started physical therapy to get the muscles moving and to reduce swelling before surgery. That was about 9 weeks. I was on crutches for about one and a half months before I started walking again without them. Physical therapy has taught me a lot about how to stretch and train my legs to be stronger and more stable. Then, about two weeks after school got out, I went in for surgery.
My surgery took place on June 11th. It took five hours with not many complications. They said I was in a lot of pain because my heart rate kept spiking. I woke up and looked at my hand. It took them five tries to get an IV right on me. I also couldn’t feel my leg. I was in excruciating pain for a few days after surgery. It went all the way up into my hips and back. I couldn’t get around. I had this heavy brace with Ace wraps. The nerve block hurt more than my actual knee and took about 72 hours before it wore off. The needle they stuck me with was about 5 inches. I was asleep, of course, but I had a massive bruise for over a month.
The week after surgery, I started physical therapy. It was weeks of crying and fighting my own body to move and keep moving. I couldn’t lift my own leg until about six weeks after surgery. I felt so defeated. I couldn’t go outside and walk around. I couldn’t go swimming or even hang out with friends. It took a serious toll on my mental health. I went twice a week to therapy and still do. At the start, they stuck these pads on my thigh and ran an electric current through them to wake up my muscles. Then, we did a blood restrictor cuff on my thigh as well.
Nothing could have prepared me for such a mental challenge. When you are bound to a chair or sitting position for weeks, it makes you feel things. Beforehand, I already struggled with depression and anxiety. But this had tripled it. I was so down that I didn’t want to go out and see people. I didn’t want to see my family or friends. I struggled with feeling human. My supposed “friends” never reached out to me. I felt so alone in this. Sure, I had people in my life, but they didn’t understand the mental pain it caused me. I was ripped from everything that brought me peace. I couldn’t run away from my problems like I would on the track. I couldn’t release the anger swirling inside by stepping into my martial arts fighting ring. I couldn’t hang out with friends and go do something fun to have a laugh or two. I couldn’t feel human, and that was the scary part. This injury was not only physically exhausting but mentally as well.
Two weeks after surgery, I got my stitches out. I have five scars from the surgery. It was a weird feeling getting them out. Although it helped with getting me moving faster because the stitches were no longer pulling. After the stitches healed, I was allowed to go swimming. I did it every week, and it helped with my knee so much. Before the end of summer, I was able to jump off the diving board. I had to re-train my left leg to go up stairs or walk normally. While every other runner was out training, I was trying to heal.
I am about three months into my recovery. I am now moving into phase two of my recovery. I am able to jog about a mile, and I am walking with just a brace. I can’t go up more than two flights of stairs at a time, or my knee hurts. I am slowly getting better. My goal is to be track season ready! I am definitely not the same person I was when this started. I have learned so much about myself from it and have learned lessons from the injury.
This is how I became who I am today. This is how my life has panned out so far. This is how an injury can change you in more ways than one. This is about how you recover from a life-altering injury. This is my recovery.
Gallery of Pictures in chronological order: Start to current.
