I got hit in the head with a Diet Coke today. Don’t worry, I’m not hurt. It was a soft drink

What do sprinters eat before the race? Nothing, they just fast.

I remember as a kid, my dad got fired for theft. I refused to believe he would do such a thing, but when I got home, the signs were all there

Does every sentence need to include a vegetable? Not necesscelery.

Why does the Norway Navy have barcodes on the side of the ships? So when they come back to port they can “Scandinavian.”

A pope, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a bar. Then the rabbit says, “I think I’m a typo.”

Two sausages are sitting in the pan. The first sausage looks to the other and says, “Man, it’s getting hot in here.” Then the other sausage says, “Woah! A talking sausage!”