Epic Macy’s Day Parade Fails

Epic Macys Day Parade Fails

Tegan Dugger, Staff Writer

The Macy’s day parade is a staple of Thanksgiving. It is a huge parade that is held in New York City. Humongous floats are walked down the street, people dance in the wind, and music is played reaching ears all across America. It’s truly beautiful, but that doesn’t matter because we’re here to talk about its epic fails! All those cool-looking inflatables that you were mesmerized by as a child, yeah, they’ve popped. All of those savage dance routines you’ve seen, I hate to break to you, but people have fallen down. And yes, Kermit the Frog has suffered multiple pops, rips, and punctures. All of these things are what make the parade so much fun to watch. The anticipation of not knowing what will pop next is why I look forward to the parade every year. 

   The parade suffers from multiple inflatable pops every year. Sidney Dugger, a 5th-grade student who attends Dover Avenue elementary says, “The Macy’s Day Parade is irrelevant, the only thing that keeps it interesting is the failures, and that’s on period.” I will only go over the best explosions because there are a lot. The first failure was in 1997 when intense winds picked up. The Cat in the Hat was faithfully flying in the wind when all of the sudden it struck a lamp post. The cat’s arm popped and the street lamp fell on a woman’s head. This was a huge oops; it is said to be the biggest failure in parade history. The woman did suffer from some injuries, but she survived. Not only did she survive, but her bank account did as well. The woman who was injured sued Macy’s for 395 million dollars in damages. 

Another “poppage” that occurred was in 1985 when Kermit the frog flew into a tree. Kermit suffered from a miniature rip but was able to keep going. Kermit may have survived that year, but he hadn’t seen the last of the trees. In 1991, Kermit flew into another tree, except this time, his head popped. Yes, I know, Kermit the frog suffering from a popped head is the saddest news of the century, but we’re not done. In 2002 a new and improved tree-resistant Kermit was created, but things were not the same. Those in attendance couldn’t bear the sight of a new Kermit, they missed the old one. This caused the new Kermit to be retired after being around for only two years, in order to give respect to his tragic past.

 The final rip/pop we will be discussing might just be the saddest. This one took place in the year 1997, and the victim… Barney the Dinosaur. Everything was going well for Barney; he was making his way down the parade. Nothing could go wrong, or at least he thought. Vicious winds began to pick up, and all of the sudden, Barney began to elevate. As he flew higher, the people who were holding the strings began to attempt to pull him back down. They ended up calling in more people to help pull Barney back to a normal height. This resulted in too much power, causing Barney to be yanked down so fast that he knocked over a lamp post. People began to boo Barney; the police had no other option than to rip Barney themselves. Barney was deflated, saggy, limp, and lifeless. Another one bites the dust.

The Macy’s Day Parade is notorious for having their singers lip-sync their songs as a way to prevent voice cracks from happening on live TV. In 2018 Rita Ora, not Ritz Oreos, Rita Ora, suffered from extreme embarrassment while performing her hit song “Let you Love Me”. I don’t know if it was nerves or anxiousness, but from the second Rita’s song started playing, her lips were not aligned with the lyrics. It got to a point where the cameras had to keep panning away from her face to try and hide the issue that was so prevalent. Turkeys were not the only thing getting roasted that Thanksgiving, Rita was as well. Twitter went ham on the memes, and Rita has never been heard from since. I guess you could say she needs to Ora-ange a new job interview. Anyways, those are just a few of the many Macy’s Day Parade fails that have occurred over the years. I will definitely be on the lookout for failures this year!