Valentine’s Day. It’s pretty cool. I’ve never really thought about it much. It’s just a holiday that comes once a year. I appreciate what goes into the holiday, and I don’t dislike it. Now, some people really take it seriously. I can’t relate, but still, I respect their feelings. I, myself, don’t have much experience with what may go into Valentine’s Day to make it epic, especially when it comes to relationship-type advice for the holiday. But, I do know what not to do. It may be obvious, but it could help. Not to mention, epic fails are also for the purpose of entertainment. 

So here are some top Valentine’s Day Fails.

1.) Gifts: Gifts are one of the most common attributes of Valentine’s Day. It’s very popular, and I suppose it is the normal thing to do. Now, there are roses and chocolate-type gifts. Everyone knows this, and it’s basically a traditional thing. In my opinion, it’s basic, but it works. It’s better than a lot of other gift ideas people have come up with. For one, cheese. Cheese has been given by itself as a gift as a sign of, I guess, love. Now, unless you are dating someone with a cheese addiction, straight-up cheese is a valentine’s fail. From someone’s actual experience, they said, “Worst part, it wasn’t even good cheese.” 

2.) Crushes: Yeah, crushes. Pretty self-explanatory in this case. Either ask them or not; I don’t know. That’s your choice. Don’t be fooled. Sometimes it’s best to not say yes to some random Steve in your class. Desperation can easily tempt you. People may think they are so good at writing poems to their crushes, but they are not. Now, there is a certain poem that will be addressed that explains why I think this way. It was called, Your Mom, and went like this: Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like your mom, And not you. Of course, this was a joke, from what I know, and the disrespect to your mom in this poem is out of this galactic universe. Yeah, go ahead and torment me and trick me the worst way possible, but don’t bring my mom into this. Goodness! The person that received this clearly knew their Valentine’s Day failed, so they had to wait until next year. If a poem is how you would ask your crush,  stay away from the annoying Roses are Red type stuff. It doesn’t always have to rhyme either. 

3.) Dates: Going on a date on Valentine’s Day should be a special experience considering the holiday happens once a year. However, Valentine’s Day isn’t the only day people go on dates, but the date itself should be recognized as special and different from most typical dates. Now, some people take this as an opportunity to be creative. And, in this specific case, creative is an understatement. I know Chuck. E Cheese does hold some sort of magical ambiance to some. No judgment. Everyone has preferences, but sometimes those preferences can get out of hand. And, the idea of Chuck. E Cheese as a romantic date brings tears to the eyes. Tears of happiness? No, not in this case. Chuck. E Cheese was not appreciated as Chuck E. should be,  and tears of emotional distress were shed as the realization of having a romantic Valentine’s date would be witnessed by a stinky, crusty mouse. Why this date was chosen, I don’t know. Sticky children, rigged games, and odorous smells don’t really seem ideal. Witness of such horror, stated, “I hated that place, period.”

4.) Outfits: Would you rather your date show up in socks and sandals or a Barney costume or a Barney costume with socks and sandals? It honestly feels disrespectful to Barney at this point. Using him as a way to make yourself seem all “quirky” and “funny” on Valentine’s Day is a no and a complete 180 out the door. It almost feels like they are more embarrassed to be with you than you feel to be with them. What could be worse is a blind date. A blind date around Valentine’s Day. Then, when your eyes take a gander, you realize that your date is a purple dinosaur with eyes that seem to know all your secrets. It’s at that point, to walk away. Walk away and slay queen. The outfit was not it, but we all learn from life experiences, and hopefully, Barney did too.

5.) Breakups: Now it’s time to get into the rough and tough. People who break up with others on Valentine’s Day need help. It just ruins all future Valentine’s Days for that person. A break-up on Valentine’s Day already gets declared as a fail no matter the story behind it. Now, all relationships are different, but if you were going to break up with someone, why do it on Valentine’s Day? It’s like people have this calling or instinct to start all this drama and heartbreak on February 14th or something. It’s confusing –  Like talk it over and wait for a day or two after if you need to. However, if they do break up with you on Valentine’s Day or did, well that should be a clear sign that they were not worth your time at all. Bestie, you are much more special than them. 

Epic fails are cool, but epic fails on Valentine’s Day are not so much. I hope these experiences and examples serve of importance to you. If you are a noob like me remember: it’s ok, but try not to make it a disaster.