You hear many stories about children who have gone through traumatic events. You hear the gist of the story they share, but have you thought about what it is like for them to recover what they have lost? Have you ever truly thought about what they will never get back?  Children with childhood trauma are the strongest individuals.  In truth, they have been stunted in areas that they have to relearn and live with. They have lost who they could have been.

By the age of sixteen, more than two-thirds of children experience some type of trauma (National Library of Medicine). These traumas are not limited to the common ones known, such as the different types of abuse, assault, and witnessing violence. Sometimes children experience all three types. Statistically, 80% of suicide attempts in adolescents are because of an adverse childhood experience (Stevens, 2013). But there is no definite number to compare the suicide rates to adolescents with no adverse childhood experiences.

 Let’s be honest for a minute: the word trauma is used very loosely now. It is a label used for pretty much any bad experience a person may have. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th edition, or DSM-5 for short, characterizes a traumatic experience by exposure to ¨death, threatened death, actual or threatened serious injury, or actual or threatened sexual violence.¨ Just to clarify, not everyone uses this term in a trite way.  When people use this term loosely, it can take away from those who have gone through serious experiences. It can make trauma survivors feel overlooked or like their experiences are not worth listening to.

 About half of childhood trauma survivors do not make it through a mental health specialist’s doors to get proper treatment (Whitney, Peterson). According to the U.S. Census, the U.S. alone has over 73.1 million children under the age of 18. Now, an astounding nearly 34 million of those children experience trauma (NSCH).  To put that in perspective, look around your classroom and just know that a little less than half of the students have experienced some type of trauma. This is measured by the scale of an average classroom as well as the data provided above.  The impact of trauma is mostly unseen.

Grief is usually used to describe a feeling after someone dies, but a lot of people who experience trauma at a young age feel it not just because someone died. They feel robbed of who they could have been. They lose their sense of identity after the trauma. They are searching for something that has been crushed into sand and blown away. This mental mechanism can potentially lead to suppressing personality traits as a survival mechanism. After a while of suppressing these traits, it leads to the grieving of what could have been. 

First, we will talk about the body as a whole, including the brain and childhood trauma’s effects on a survivor’s body.  In one study conducted by the University of California San Francisco, it stated that people with four or more ACEs or Adverse Childhood Experiences are: 

• 1.4x as likely to have diabetes 
• 2 to 2.3x as likely to have a stroke, cancer, or heart disease
• 3.2x as likely to have chronic lower respiratory disease

That is sadly not as bad as it gets. In some cases, it can cause FND or Functional Neurological Disorder, permanent brain damage from physical abuse, emotional dysregulation, and nervous system imbalance.

The Parasympathetic Nervous System is very important for the regulation of heart rate and gastrointestinal functions. It is located between the brain and spinal cord and works with the Sympathetic Nervous System. The Sympathetic Nervous System is the one to cause flight or fight responses. During and after trauma, these systems become thrown off and can not keep up with regulating. It pushes them past their capabilities. After a while, this can cause emotional dysregulation. This emotional dysregulation can cause trouble regulating anger, a higher risk for risky behaviors, and mood swings. This affects the whole body, and that is where illness can start forming. (MHS, Cleveland Clinic).

FND is a neurological disorder that can be caused by trauma. There are times when there are no trigger cases or unknown causes. FND or Functional Neurological Disorder is very complicated. One person could experience seizures, and another might experience migraines. Studies linking trauma and FND  have found that there is a trauma subtype that is more likely to cause it, according to the National Library of Medicine. They used people with FND and PTSD and a group with no PTSD and FND for this study. In the conclusion, they found that there are several gaps in data to support or find this subtype.

Now it is time to talk about the emotional and social aspects. A decent number of trauma survivors are stuck in the past. They re-live the trauma due to triggers or things that set the memories crashing down. In one fascinating discovery made by Bessel Van Der Kolk, M.D., and his colleague, they found that trauma survivors, long after the instance, seek out harmful activities like burning themselves with cigarettes or having constantly toxic relationships.  Somehow, it eventually turns into perverse pleasure. They crave experience and activity withdrawal like a drug addict craves drugs (Van Der Kolk, 32).

Survivors have triggers, and these triggers can be almost anything. Trauma triggers are a horrible side effect that can trigger PTSD symptoms and panic attacks. A great example of these triggers is when traumatized children are shown typical photos like a father fixing a car with the kids watching, and told the most gruesome ending of what happened to the dad. One said the car crushed him with great detail, and another had an even more gruesome tale. These children seemed to have extreme excitement when telling these tales (Van Der Kolk, 108-111).  

With this in mind, children with traumatic experiences have constant panic alarms going off in their heads, telling them they are in danger. Their fear response is in overdrive. Without proper coping skills, many suffer from self-destructive patterns. They may avoid social situations, events, or even having emotional attachments with others. A lot of trauma survivors seem to carry a preference for solitude.

PTSD has many symptoms, some of which include flashbacks, nightmares, denying that the event happened, and more. It affects the mood and brain. To say you have PTSD, you must see a psychologist and meet the criteria to be diagnosed. PTSD is very serious and is not something to joke about.  For a more in-depth explanation, it is recommended that you take a peek at the National Library of Medicine or the CDC.

In one finding on The Library of Medicine, they found that childhood trauma survivors struggle with personality deficits as well as lower social support. Personality deficits have many clinical terms and can be all sorts of problems. Mostly, the extreme cases are Borderline Personality Disorder and AVPD (Avoidant Personality Disorder). It can also be negative outlooks on the world and self-image issues. Lower social support is highly suggested in many studies. Trauma survivors, especially childhood trauma survivors, can not relate to people to the same degree. Certain people cannot fathom what it is like to be a survivor unless they have gone through absolute affliction. They can’t see it the same as a person with trauma. 

Therefore, we ALL are human, but sometimes people are not recognized as the same.  Surviving in a world that is already a mess becomes the most daunting task. Now put yourself in someone else’s shoes who maybe doesn’t have a good home life. Imagine yourself with all that weight these people carry. Imagine you having to hold it all back and keep these “boulders” from crushing you. Imagine yourself dancing with death and reliving the experience like you are being tortured over and over again. That is what most trauma survivors live for the rest of their lives, and you have just tried imagining what it is like to live like that. Now, of course, everyone is different on how their trauma manifests or presents itself.

 These people are fighting their own dark battles daily. So remind yourself: if it isn’t you who is the survivor, then don’t be the one to sink someone’s ship when they already fired their flare gun. They don’t have many options of survival left. What they carry is too much weight, and kicking them down can snap their lifeline. Once that lifeline snaps, then there is nothing saving them from themselves.

Death, life, and hurt are universal experiences. We may not share the same wounds or the same scars, but we all feel hurt, feel the sting of death, and the brutal pounding of life. Just keep in mind that when you speak to a person, you have no idea what awaits them outside of the room in which you both stand. Understanding that all people like you struggle and some have gone through rough times can greatly increase your understanding of why a person is the way they are. Recognition of another person’s struggle can help you help them. They will feel less alone.  Seeing, recognizing, and being graceful can change a lot for trauma survivors. It can lead them in a direction of healing and feeling safe. After all, they are trying to find themselves after they lost who they were before the event or events. Be graceful.

Now, how does anyone move forward from childhood trauma? The pillars on which a childhood was built were supposed to have a strong foundation, but it has fissures. The person that they were supposed to be is gone. For some, they have nothing left of the old them; they have the memories and the trauma, but that is it. From this, childhood trauma survivors must take charge of their own healing. With that in mind, they could choose trauma therapy. They could never acknowledge the problems and stay mentally unwell. They could try, but give up on healing because it’s hard. Childhood trauma survivors hold the key to healing and shaping their better future. You can encourage them in the right direction, but they have to find the initiative to fully start the process. The pain and remembrance of what happened to them will still be there, and so will the cracks. Time doesn’t heal all, but it can strengthen and prove that these survivors are strong. Childhood trauma costs many, always lingers, and kills every part of a person. The death of who they could have been becomes a better and stronger version.

Last thing, if you are a childhood trauma survivor, keep going. It gets better from here. That’s hard for you to believe, I know, but you got this! Surviving isn’t easy, so remember surviving all that pain is an achievement. It shows you are an amazingly strong person. Your battles and scars are a story that you should never feel ashamed of. It shows you made it out alive. Tell your story, share it, scream it out into the world. You deserve to be seen and heard. You deserve that peace that was taken from you in childhood. You deserve healing.